October 19, 2009
Totally Tubular
Too much TV!
1) If George Lopez is "bringing the party back to late night," was there an actual time when late night was a party? The closest thing I can think of is "Arsineo," which was great, but I don't think you can legally wear shoulder pads of that size any longer. I do not understand what is going to make this talk show different. Maybe George will do a line of coke with every guest? And then tell stories about how he messed around on his wife? You know, the one who gave him a kidney.
2) If Wanda Sykes is getting a show, and George Lopez has a show, and NBC has three talk shows, and CBS has two, and ABC has one, plus Ellen and Bonnie Hunt, plus "The Daily Show," "The Colbert Report" and "Chelsea Lately" and podcast talk shows, and all these talk shows have celebrities pimping their TV shows and movies, how come there are very few smash hit shows or movies any longer? Why the hell do peple keep producing MORE TALK SHOWS? And why can't I ever get on even one of these talk shows, huh?
3) If "you" are the star of "Secret Girlfriend," shouldn't you feel bad about being a reprehensible human being? Also, why does your point of view cut to whoever is speaking? Are you having a series of mini-strokes?
4) Knowing how competitive television production is and considering the number of projects that never make it to the screen, what the hell is Comedy Central passing up to put "Secret Girlfriend" on the air?
5) I have never met a single human being of any race, creed or color who likes Joe Buck or the way he announces a game. Every time I'm in a room where a Joe Buck broadcast is on, someone (and not always me) goes out of their way to mention how much they actively dislike Joe Buck. There are five people in America who like Joe Buck (or Joe Morgan), but they're all in the same focus group. That's the only possible explanation.
6) Why wasn't No. 5 in the form of a question?
