Chris White's Schedule

Despite the best efforts of the CWS staff, Chris White does, on occasion, successfully schedule live comedy appearances. These appearances are in both his adopted hometown of Washington, D.C., and around the country, as he seems determined to spread his particular brand of suck all over this soon-to-be-formerly-great land.

You may be one of the naive people thinking, "Hey! Chris White is a genius! I would like to meet him in person, and give him money!" Well, wise up: it won't buy his love. And don't bother sending him your severed ear, either. He's an emotionless robot, apparently.

While you should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES patronize any of these shows, we are providing this calendar for two reasons. First, if you are truly as devoted to the cause as the operators of this Web site, then you are under court order to remain 50 miles from Chris White at all times, and you must therefore know his whereabouts. Second, if you are NOT under court order, you can wait outside these venues and throw canned goods at Chris White as he enters or exits.

June 2008 and Beyond

  • June 6 (Friday): Easton, Maryland
  • June 25-28 (Wednesday-Saturday): Helium, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
  • July 1 (Tuesday): Happy Hour Trivia (hosting), DC Improv Lounge
  • July 12 (Saturday): "I Take Requests" 3, DC Improv Lounge
  • July 30 - August 3 (Wednesday-Sunday): Wiseguys, Syracuse, New York
  • August 6 (Wednesday): Happy Hour Trivia (hosting), DC Improv Lounge
  • August 13-16 (Wednesday-Saturday): The Laff Stop, Houston
  • September 26-27 (Friday-Saturday): Arlington/Montgomery Drafthouses (VA/MD)
  • November 5-9 (Wednesday-Sunday): Atlanta (tentative)

Earlier in 2008

  • January 18-19 (Friday-Saturday): Comedy Connection, Portland, Maine
  • January 26 (Saturday): Private show, Virginia
  • February 8 (Friday): New York City
  • February 13-17 (Wednesday-Sunday): Rivercenter Comedy Club, San Antonio, Texas
  • March 7-8 (Friday-Saturday): Private Shows, Richmond, Virginia
  • March 14-15 (Friday-Saturday): Private Shows, North Carolina and Virginia
  • March 20-22 (Thursday-Saturday): Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle, Detroit
  • March 26-30 (Wednesday-Sunday): South Bend Funny Bone, Mishiwaka, Indiana
  • April 5 (Saturday): I Take Requests at the DC Improv Lounge
  • April 10-12 (Thursday-Saturday): Pittsburgh Funny Bone, Pennsylvania
  • April 18-19 (Friday-Saturday): Magooby's Joke House, Baltimore
  • May 3 (Saturday): Hyatt, Bethesda, Maryland
  • May 7-10 (Wednesday - Saturday): Indianapolis, Indiana
  • May 14 (Wednesday): Drafthouse Comedy Challenge, Arlington, Virginia
  • May 17 (Saturday): Pearmund Cellars, Broad Run, Virginia
  • May 21-25 (Wednesday-Sunday): DC Improv w/ Bob Marley

Why Chris Sucks: Jeanette, the office manager at Chris White Sucks Inc., recently had a baby girl, which she named Christina. She was immediately fired for the name similarity.

Legal Stuff: If you have questions about this Web site, why? You should spend your time questioning the moral nature of any god who would let Chris White exist. But anyhow ... copyright 2008, Chris White Sucks Inc.