CD Embargo Project

In late August 2004, Chris released his first full-length comedy CD. Recorded at Jammin' Java (Vienna, Va.) in July 2004, "Forbidden Style" has 45 minutes of jokes written and polished over Chris' first two years as a comedian. It goes without saying, but we'll say it anyhow: this CD sucks.

However, this has not prevented Chris from attempting to sell his CDs to America's youth, on the Internet. He doesn't check ages or anything. CHILDREN could have their minds warped by this stuff. And then those children grow up with horrible, twisted minds, and decide to take over the world. They become psychopathic dictators and kill millions. All because of Chris White's CD.

Our plan at Chris White Sucks is to buy as many of these CDs as possible, and then destroy them so that the general public can never hear any of this crap. Please join in our cause and buy at least 12 copies. To buy the CD online, you can order through PayPal by clicking on the album cover below.

Chris also sells his CD following most of his live performances -- you can get a full listing right here on the calendar page. If you can work in teams, get one person to distract Chris. (Helpful tip: In the past, we've had great luck drawing his attention away from his CD stash by throwing burning tennis balls at his head.) Then, have the second person run in a steal all of the CDs on display.

And oh yeah, his brother Dave did the cover art -- he's not a bad guy. Much better than Chris. Go visit The Japanese Beetle Web site to see some of his work.

Why Chris Sucks: It's very hard to paint a Gundam model to look like Chris, because they are very often angular, but he isn't. I mean, really.

Legal Stuff: If you have questions about this Web site, why? You should spend your time questioning the moral nature of any god who would let Chris White exist. But anyhow ... copyright 2009, Chris White Sucks Inc.