Join the Mailing List

If you want the latest in Chris White news, so you can plan when to buy overripe produce, and then show up and throw it at Chris, we'll totally help you out. Send an e-mail to:

ihatechris@chriswhitesucks.com

... and be sure to list where you live. That way, when Chris comes back to your part of the country, we can mobilize you against him.

Booking / Hiring Chris

Booking Requests: As a general rule, we're against helping Chris along with his dreams. But if you would like to hire Chris for a comedy show, a writing gig or any other kind of function, you can e-mail him at

chris@dcstandup.com

Chris White will then consider your offer, talk it over with Chris White and then inform you of Chris White's decision. We suggest that you pose as a big-time booking type guy, then send Chris e-mails promising him weeks and weeks of work at clubs that don't really exist, like "Colonel Chuckles of Charleston" or "The Peoria Improv." Send him a reminder every few weeks about these bookings. Then when he gets there, won't HE be surprised! Kind of like how some of us were surprised to show up at his apartment in late 2003 hoping to share a pizza and instead finding police officers.

Writing Chris Directly

It's difficult to make any kind of connection in this crazy world. Chris White, for example, doesn't want to connect with regular people who go to the trouble of tattooing his face on their back. Even when they stand outside his house for eight hours on a Saturday night crying. No, Chris White only wants to connect with people who would like to pay him extravagant amounts of money to do very little work.

But you can still try e-mailing him at chris@dcstandup.com

Why Chris Sucks: If he had a director's commentary track on his life, God would probably forget about Chris altogether and just start talking about sausage.

Legal Stuff: If you have questions about this Web site, why? You should spend your time questioning the moral nature of any god who would let Chris White exist. But anyhow ... copyright 2008, Chris White Sucks Inc.