I Take Requests 3: July 12

The DC Improv has made tickets available online for Chris' next big show, "I Take Requests" on July 12 in the lounge. You can also buy tickets in person at the DC Improv box office.

Chris is promising a new trivia game to start the show, new comedy videos, more new stand-up and a new grand finale. We're promising a whole new world of pain for Mr. Chris White.

All the previous editions of "I Take Requests" have sold out, so get your tickets as soon as humanly possible -- we want to make sure this show is packed with people who hate Chris. Remember, it includes trivia, videos and stand-up.

Welcome True Believers

You've reached the Web site dedicated to proving that comedian Chris White sucks. There are so many reasons we can't get into right now -- start off by reading our Mission Statement, then click around a bit and wallow in the suckiness. You'll see what we're talking about soon enough, and when you're ready, we've got a pitchfork with your name on it. The day of liberation is coming ...

May 2008: We got a recent grant from the Hatred Foundation and we put the money into web design. We're having a hard time convincing people to hate Chris lately, and we're hoping the new color scheme will do the trick (purple and gold are scientifically proven to incite resentment, hence the lack of people wearing purple capes and gold crowns these days). We've also gone into a little more detail about some of Chris' projects, giving them their own pages. It is much easier to find specific reasons to hate Chris now! You're welcome!

March 2008: It's a mixed winter for Chris -- he's had auditions for Last Comic Standing and a bunch of comedy festivals, but we don't know if he's going to make it or not. We're doing everything we can to keep him down, but every little bit helps -- even if it means sending him angry anonymous e-mails. Please discourage him at every opportunity.

Why Chris Sucks: Jeanette, the office manager at Chris White Sucks Inc., recently had a baby girl, which she named Christina. She was immediately fired for the name similarity.

Legal Stuff: If you have questions about this Web site, why? You should spend your time questioning the moral nature of any god who would let Chris White exist. But anyhow ... copyright 2008, Chris White Sucks Inc.