When I do get around, I write about it. If you want to read exclusively about my visits to United States presidential sites, you can do that over here.

Travel: South Carolina

There's lots more to South Carolina than this, but let's face it, this is all you care about ...

South of the Border

March 17, 2007

On Saturday I visited the happiest place on Earth: SOUTH OF THE BORDER! In this day and age, no one would have the balls to build an entire rest stop around an ethnic stereotype, let alone splash that ethnic sterotype on billboards 400 miles up and down the Eastern Seaboard. Yet South of the Border has persevered for 57 years. God bless America.

It's great P.R. for South Carolina: the first things you see as you cross the state line are a "dirty old man" shop, fireworks stores, a t-shirt shop, ethnic steretypes galore and about four hot dog stands. I cannot express how much I love South of the Border. I am not kidding. It makes Wall Drug look like a Rite Aid. I am planning to move here as soon as possible.

If you stop in, I recommend the chili dog with "cheez"; it is exquisite. Also be sure to stop by Pedro's Coffe Shop, which despite its name is actually a dirty souvenir shop. After a tough 15 minutes of comparative shopping I grabbed a magnet and a tiny "Pedro" doll. This was not an easy decision, as there were also "risque" towels (including one with an invitation to join the "intercourse club" printed on the front), oversized pencils, about 40 different items that had the word "Oriental" in the description, those beach shirts with bikini-clad bodies airbrushed on the front, 364 different kinds of shot glasses, novelty hats, novelty sunglasses, $2 backscratchers, "Kung Fu" drums, numerous earthenware Pedros (perfect for the Hummel cabinet), Pedro coloring books (for the stereotype-loving tyke), keychains, placemats, flatware, playing cards, dice, bumper stickers, and water pistols. Sad to say, I didn't really get past the front of the store, so who knows what I missed. I'm pretty sure S.O.B. is responsible for about 22 percent of China's GDP.

Offered without comment: No Mexican-Americans seemed to be working at the shops I visited.

One man's quest to be the humblest person alive
Copyright 2014, Chris White