If you're a booker or corporate type looking for a boring, regular Chris White web site that's slightly less confusing, you can see one right here.

Why Care?

August 4: We have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Chris is finally done his contractually obligated series of columns for McSweeneys.net. The last installment is about why you should care about the presidents. The bad news -- Chris has an open invitation to keep writing this drivel. Blech.

Reading Room Online

Chris White occasionally tries to write funny stuff. We've assembled the evidence at the Reading Room, so you can see for yourself just how bad he is. Go visit, go read, go scrutinize.

Welcome True Believers

You've reached the Web site dedicated to proving that comedian Chris White sucks. There are so many reasons we can't get into right now -- start off by reading our Mission Statement, then click around a bit and wallow in the suckiness. You'll see what we're talking about soon enough, and when you're ready, we've got a pitchfork with your name on it. The day of liberation is coming ...

And by the way, don't be fooled by his appearance on "Last Comic Standing 5" (it was only 2 minutes long). Or his continual airplay on satellite radio. Or his longstanding tradition of quality and excellence. The guy sucks.

Why Chris Sucks: Chris shreds documents before putting them in the garbage, making it very difficult to piece together details of his financial life. We're just curious, is all!

Legal Stuff: If you have questions about this Web site, why? You should spend your time questioning the moral nature of any god who would let Chris White exist. But anyhow ... copyright 2009, Chris White Sucks Inc.